Grace & Workplace RelationshipsDear Grace,
I’m a good person. I care about others, I have a great job, a loving husband who accepts me – flaws and all, and I’m active in my community. Last week someone at work really irritated me. I never said anything to her but it’s still hanging on like sticky glue. I know that I should “get over it” but I can’t. For me, there’s no ordinary - much less extraordinary - Grace happening What’s going on? --Ann R. Dear Ann, Nothing like a sticky matter to catch our attention! To Find Grace, we encourage you to keep “Shining the Light of Awareness into your Darkest Corners”. Your longer letter suggests a blind spot regarding your reaction as it is a repeated pattern for you. Why do we label it a “dark corner” or blind spot? Because repeated negative emotions are our dark corners. So here’s the question to ask yourself: What do you give up by hanging on to your irritation – or anger, sadness, shame, or fear? What is the source of your irritation? I’ll guarantee it has less to do with her than it does with you. By shining a light, you can become more aware of what you can’t easily see. Increased awareness can uncover and reveal something precious to you. Your co-worker unknowingly flashed a light into something worth pursuing. Instead of being upset with her, realize that when you feel something hit your gut, or chest, or you feel an instantaneous ZAP! in every nerve ending in your body, you’ve got an opportunity for personal breakthrough. Too often, we shove the feeling into that dark corner and cut the power lines. Then we stub our toe and blame it on the wall! Learn to stay in the moment with the feeling. Don’t push it away and pretend it’s gone. It’s not, and it’s joining you in the next moment of your life. Stop to identify where that feeling is in your body What is the feeling? Then, think back to a significant time in your life when you felt that same way. What pattern or connection is there? This is a key. Our feelings – both subtle and strong – exist in every and all ordinary and extraordinary moments. The more AWARE you are of who you are based on how you feel, the greater your ability to find your Grace in moments of frustration, irritation, loneliness or fear. To find Grace is to uncover your reality. What do you give up by hanging on? Your personal power; your Ego might win but YOU don’t. With regard to your co-worker – and everyone else- ask yourself: How do I want to be remembered: as Righteous or Real?” |
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